Sometimes I hear people mocking someone with depression and scorning it as something the person should just "get over" and then I hate myself for lacking the courage to speak up, which is part of why I'm writing this today because the more people feel they need to keep silent, the more the stigma persists. When I do talk about it, I'm often told that I don't seem the type and I wonder what "the type" is: it can happen to anyone. All I know is I'm very different now -- and my life is very different now -- from how it was then, and it has not always been a very easy road to get here. If I knew then how much effort it would take just to reach a state where I know myself to be healthy, I doubt I would have had the stamina.
I've been fortunate to live in a time where the support and medicine exist which helped me. Even now these are not available to everyone, or the people who most need them aren't able to access them, and I know that what works for me will not work for someone else.
One thing I am always asked whenever giving my medical history to a new doctor is, "Are there any hereditary conditions in your family?" I know that I have not been the only member of my close family and my extended family to have this condition, and my research has revealed that it isn't the only instance of mental health problems in our family.
Isabel Sangster was born in 1815 at Towie, a farm in the parish of Clatt, Aberdeenshire, one of nine children of the farmer John Sangster and his wife Jean Watt. When she was 21 she married George Meldrum, an agricultural labourer from the nearby village of Kennethmont.
1833
6 January
MELDRUM & SANGSTER
JohnGeorge MELDRUM in the Parish of Kennethmont and Isobel SANGSTER in this Parish, being proclaimed, were married.
George worked on various farms around Kennethmont where he and Isabel lived at Glenhead and later Glen Cults. As could be expected for the time, they had a large family: six daughters and four sons. It appears that two of their daughters died young, followed in 1859 by their eldest son, George Jr, at Oyne, of pneumonia, aged 24. Another son died in 1864 at the age of 8.
In 1865 Isabel was admitted to the Royal Lunatic Asylum in Aberdeen. Her admission records state that she had been insane for about six years since the death of her son, and had previously been a patient at the Montrose Lunatic Asylum. She was aged 53 at the time of her admission to Aberdeen, married but in the care of her brother Robert, and a pauper receiving support from the parish of Kennethmont. The records also note that there was no member of her family known to have been insane. Two doctors from Rhynie, near Kennethmont, examined her and recorded their observations: Isabel was violent, incoherent and absurd in her responses to their questions, used foul language, and perhaps most significantly, directed her violence at her husband, holding him responsible for the death of her son. Both observed that she repeatedly spoke of "the sceptre having been taken from her back". The admission record sums up their observations:
In 1865 Isabel was admitted to the Royal Lunatic Asylum in Aberdeen. Her admission records state that she had been insane for about six years since the death of her son, and had previously been a patient at the Montrose Lunatic Asylum. She was aged 53 at the time of her admission to Aberdeen, married but in the care of her brother Robert, and a pauper receiving support from the parish of Kennethmont. The records also note that there was no member of her family known to have been insane. Two doctors from Rhynie, near Kennethmont, examined her and recorded their observations: Isabel was violent, incoherent and absurd in her responses to their questions, used foul language, and perhaps most significantly, directed her violence at her husband, holding him responsible for the death of her son. Both observed that she repeatedly spoke of "the sceptre having been taken from her back". The admission record sums up their observations:
She is subject to fits of irritation with violence – manifested particularly towards her husband. Talks incoherently about “the Sceptre having been taken from her back”. Death of a son assigned as cause.
Isabel never recovered and died in the asylum just over three years after her arrival. I don't know where she is buried: certainly not with the rest of the family at Clatt. Mental health was even more poorly understood then, and although I admit to shuddering at considering the circumstances of the 19th century Aberdeen and Montrose Asylums, they were actually pioneers of a more compassionate level of care and a genuine attempt to try to understand and cure mental illness. Despite her unhappy ending, Isabel was probably better off than she would have been even a generation earlier.
When I think of the number of mothers (and fathers) in my family tree who lost children, Isabel's is the only instance -- of which I'm aware -- where she simply was unable to cope...but was that it? Is it really that simple? What if the death of her son was not the cause but the catalyst?
As mentioned earlier, Isabel was one of nine children. She and two of her brothers remained in Scotland. Five others went to what would become Ontario, Canada, and one went from there to Missouri. The other sibling, Sarah, married Francis Brown and moved to New Zealand, but not until after their eldest daughter had married and joined her aunts and uncles in Canada. Putting together the Sangster family tree has been a real treat, reconnecting these branches divided between the 1830s and 1860s, sharing family stories and photographs, and looking always for the similarities which connect us. One striking similarity was schizophrenia.
Although not all the medical histories of the Sangsters have been uncovered or shared, whatthere is a pattern appearing amongst some of their female descendants:
When I think of the number of mothers (and fathers) in my family tree who lost children, Isabel's is the only instance -- of which I'm aware -- where she simply was unable to cope...but was that it? Is it really that simple? What if the death of her son was not the cause but the catalyst?
As mentioned earlier, Isabel was one of nine children. She and two of her brothers remained in Scotland. Five others went to what would become Ontario, Canada, and one went from there to Missouri. The other sibling, Sarah, married Francis Brown and moved to New Zealand, but not until after their eldest daughter had married and joined her aunts and uncles in Canada. Putting together the Sangster family tree has been a real treat, reconnecting these branches divided between the 1830s and 1860s, sharing family stories and photographs, and looking always for the similarities which connect us. One striking similarity was schizophrenia.
Although not all the medical histories of the Sangsters have been uncovered or shared, whatthere is a pattern appearing amongst some of their female descendants:
- Elspeth Sangster, daughter of Isabel's brother William, was in and out of asylums from the age of 18 until her death at 69. The reason for her institutionalisation isn't known, just that it happened frequently.
- Mary Mabel McKenzie, daughter of Isabel's niece Mary and second cousin of Elspeth, also in and out of institutions from her early 20s. A family history, written by her nephew whom she helped raise after the death of his mother, wrote that he believed that Mabel's instability was due to her being unable to become reconciled to the death of her mother. Although the rest of the family accepted that she was of a nervous disposition and "quite free in expressing herself", she was also physically violent towards her nephew and blamed him for any number of issues which could not possibly have been his fault.
- Eleanor MacKenzie, daughter of Isabel's great-nephew William and niece of Mary Mabel, committed by her father in her mid-20s and diagnosed with dementia praecox. Her family's only story of her is that she believed her father to be too strict with her and blamed him for the failure of a romantic relationship.
None of this is conclusive and it's all too distant from me to reply to questions about hereditary conditions by saying that schizophrenia, manifesting itself with paranoia about a family member, disordered speech and violent outbursts, runs in my family. The last confirmed case was in the 1930s; in the 80 years which have passed, any hereditary factor will have become diluted.
And yet I wonder more about these women than I do about others in my family tree, about their lives and the hardships they had to endure not only personally but almost certainly in the kind of treatment they would have received as medical understanding of mental health evolved. I think about George Meldrum, Isabel's husband, who not only lost four of his children but also his wife to insanity. George predeceased her, ironically, for someone she seems to have accused of stealing "the sceptre" from her back, of a disease of the spinal column. I wonder how they would have fared if they had been born in my time, where there is support and medicine available, where the stigma of mental illness is diminishing, where alternatives to institutionalisation exist where appropriate. I know that I have been fortunate to benefit from being born at a time and a place where such challenges can be faced and overcome, and a whole, happy and healthy life can follow. I think of the family, friends and medical professionals who have helped and of how happy my life is now, and that for me is something to be thankful for every day, but particularly today.
Happy Thanksgiving.
And yet I wonder more about these women than I do about others in my family tree, about their lives and the hardships they had to endure not only personally but almost certainly in the kind of treatment they would have received as medical understanding of mental health evolved. I think about George Meldrum, Isabel's husband, who not only lost four of his children but also his wife to insanity. George predeceased her, ironically, for someone she seems to have accused of stealing "the sceptre" from her back, of a disease of the spinal column. I wonder how they would have fared if they had been born in my time, where there is support and medicine available, where the stigma of mental illness is diminishing, where alternatives to institutionalisation exist where appropriate. I know that I have been fortunate to benefit from being born at a time and a place where such challenges can be faced and overcome, and a whole, happy and healthy life can follow. I think of the family, friends and medical professionals who have helped and of how happy my life is now, and that for me is something to be thankful for every day, but particularly today.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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